How about Haiti?

I didn't know.

A year and a half ago I didn't even know where the country of Haiti was. I didn't know it was the poorest country in the western hemisphere. I didn't know how much injustice existed just 750 miles south of Florida. And I definitely didn't know that God would use this little country to wreck my heart and forever change my life.

At the beginning of 2009 I joined a group at Faith E-Free church called Sage's Hope. The goal of Sage's Hope is to mobilize and equip the church on behalf of the helpless, orphan child. There are many areas we try to serve in; foster care, domestic adoption, international adoption, respite care and orphan care. About 18 months ago, we started to pray about where God wanted our church to care for orphans. As a group we prayed about many different countries; Togo, Ukraine, Haiti and a few others. With an estimated 140 million orphans world wide we were confident that God would use us to help meet this need, we just didn't know where yet. After many months, many prayers, many discussions and one October trip to Haiti (taken by our senior pastor, Brad and our children's pastor, Chris) it was confirmed that Haiti is where we are suppose to be.

Shortly after our pastors returned from Haiti, I started to get an overwhelming urge to pray for this country, it's people, and God willing, an opportunity to go. I knew the church was planning another trip for March, so the first week of January I applied to go. Only a week later the devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit this already hurting country. I didn't know if the trip was still on.

Thankfully, we have an amazing, faithful God who paved the way and made this trip possible. This past March myself, along with ten others traveled down to Port au Prince to come along side God in the work he is doing in this country. We were changed. I think I can speak for the whole team when I say that God lit a fire in our hearts and stirred us to action. None of us came back the same. And none of us want the same "normal life" back again; we want this experience to change us--and the world around us--for good.

In the weeks following my return to Colorado, I tried to unpack all God had shown me while I was in Haiti. How could a week long experience take me months to unravel? Even now, almost 10 weeks later, I am still learning new things almost daily. I am more passionate about Haiti and these orphans today than I was when I was there! Since I've been back I have been frustrated; how can there be so much pain, injustice, suffering, poverty and darkness in one place? I learned through reading Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels that it is good to feed this frustration--to allow myself to be upset, thwarted and discontent with the way things are. So here I sit, frustrated to the point that I can't stand it anymore--I have to do something. I have been praying about this "something" almost constantly! I don't know what it was going to look like. I don't know how God was going to call me to action. But I like not knowing. Right here is a good place to be; I don't know where he's going to lead me, when he is going to lead me or how he's going to lead me. "But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying 'You are my God'. My future is in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15a). For now, God has lead me to take another trip to Haiti the first week of July. I am humbled and overwhelmed with joy at this opportunity. Faith E-Free has decided to partner with The Global Orphan Project to help build and develop an orphan village in a southwest area of Haiti called Port Salut. As a church we are excited to see what God is going to do as he draws us closer to his heart for the helpless and takes us on an unknown journey of caring for his precious children. It's amazing to think that this is just the beginning. What an awesome God we serve!

So going forward from this place, all I want to do is be faithful in this frustration. That God would bring me closer to him and form me more like his Son--no matter what it takes.