Peace be Still

I can't sleep and I can't get this song out of my head. After returning from Haiti in March, my dear friend John made a beautiful video with this song and the captivating images from our trip. The simplistic beauty of the song reflects the nature of this endearing country. So here are the lyrics by Rush of Fools and a few more pictures as well!

Come to Me, you who are weak Let My strength be yours tonight Come and rest, let My love be your bed Let My heart be yours tonight  Peace be still, Peace be still Please be still and know that I am God And know that I am God  Come empty cup, let Me fill you up I'll descend on you like a dove tonight Lift your head, let your eyes fall into Mine Let your fear subside tonight  Hallelujah, Hallelujah

In 41 hours

Tonight I don't have any words. I tried several times to express how I am feeling about my upcoming trip to Haiti. In just 41 short hours I will be here again. wow.

I am humbled, amazed, inspired and anxious. So for tonight, I will let the pictures be my words. See you soon my beloved Haiti...

11.36

Sometimes it's hard to trust God. Sometimes it's easy.

God has paved the way for me to take another trip to Haiti this summer. Every piece of this being possible was clearly at the hand of God. From the gracious gift of time off from work, to the clear invitation from God to "go"--I am confident that this is where I am suppose to be. I knew in accepting this invitation that I would have to fundraise again in order to go. I had to trust that God would provide for me financially. I had to trust that he was going to finish the work he started.

This week I sent out prayer cards to 88 people. I asked my friends and family to support me in prayer as I embark on this journey to Haiti. I didn't specifically ask for financial support, I was trusting that God would lead specific people to pray and specific people to give.

On Wednesday morning I was sitting in my co-worker Sarah's office. I was telling her about the prayer cards and how I am trusting God to bring in the money in the next six weeks. I said "with how many people I am contacting I think I would only need $10-15.00 per person" She encouraged me to tell my supporters that it would only take several small gifts for me to reach my fundraising goal. Sometimes we think that a donation has to be big to be significant, but small things quickly add up to big things before we know it.

I went home that night excited about this new revelation from earlier in the day. I opened my bible and took out an envelope that I have tucked away in there. Inside this envelope are two checks. Before people even knew I was going on another trip, these check came in the mail. One from my home church in Canon City with a note "for your next adventure". The other was one from a couple who forgot to send it back in March. God was showing me his faithfulness. On the outside of the envelope I wrote a verse, Romans 11:36. It says "For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen". This is the verse I am claiming over my fundraising. That everything would be from the Lord, that this trip would be through his strength, and that everything would be turned back to him for his glory.

So as I sat on my bed, envelope in one had and my calculator in the other, I began to see why sometimes God makes it easy to trust him. I punched in 88 times $10...that made me a little shy of my goal. Then I punched in 88 times $15...that put me over my goal. Then I looked down and saw the verse on my envelope and I punched in 88 times $11.36...it was the perfect amount! I was stunned! I did the calculation over and over and sure enough it was exactly the amount I needed. I began to cry as I saw the faithful provision of our God. I don't believe this is a coincidence or a fluke, I wholeheartedly believe that this is the hand of God!

Romas 11:36--88 people giving $11.36.

Wow God, you really are who you say you are!

If you would like to support me please make out your check to Faith Evangelical Free Church (FEFC) and send them to me at 221 Columbine Court, Fort Collins, CO 80521.

Thank you for your continued support and prayers!

How about Haiti?

I didn't know.

A year and a half ago I didn't even know where the country of Haiti was. I didn't know it was the poorest country in the western hemisphere. I didn't know how much injustice existed just 750 miles south of Florida. And I definitely didn't know that God would use this little country to wreck my heart and forever change my life.

At the beginning of 2009 I joined a group at Faith E-Free church called Sage's Hope. The goal of Sage's Hope is to mobilize and equip the church on behalf of the helpless, orphan child. There are many areas we try to serve in; foster care, domestic adoption, international adoption, respite care and orphan care. About 18 months ago, we started to pray about where God wanted our church to care for orphans. As a group we prayed about many different countries; Togo, Ukraine, Haiti and a few others. With an estimated 140 million orphans world wide we were confident that God would use us to help meet this need, we just didn't know where yet. After many months, many prayers, many discussions and one October trip to Haiti (taken by our senior pastor, Brad and our children's pastor, Chris) it was confirmed that Haiti is where we are suppose to be.

Shortly after our pastors returned from Haiti, I started to get an overwhelming urge to pray for this country, it's people, and God willing, an opportunity to go. I knew the church was planning another trip for March, so the first week of January I applied to go. Only a week later the devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake hit this already hurting country. I didn't know if the trip was still on.

Thankfully, we have an amazing, faithful God who paved the way and made this trip possible. This past March myself, along with ten others traveled down to Port au Prince to come along side God in the work he is doing in this country. We were changed. I think I can speak for the whole team when I say that God lit a fire in our hearts and stirred us to action. None of us came back the same. And none of us want the same "normal life" back again; we want this experience to change us--and the world around us--for good.

In the weeks following my return to Colorado, I tried to unpack all God had shown me while I was in Haiti. How could a week long experience take me months to unravel? Even now, almost 10 weeks later, I am still learning new things almost daily. I am more passionate about Haiti and these orphans today than I was when I was there! Since I've been back I have been frustrated; how can there be so much pain, injustice, suffering, poverty and darkness in one place? I learned through reading Holy Discontent by Bill Hybels that it is good to feed this frustration--to allow myself to be upset, thwarted and discontent with the way things are. So here I sit, frustrated to the point that I can't stand it anymore--I have to do something. I have been praying about this "something" almost constantly! I don't know what it was going to look like. I don't know how God was going to call me to action. But I like not knowing. Right here is a good place to be; I don't know where he's going to lead me, when he is going to lead me or how he's going to lead me. "But I am trusting you, O Lord, saying 'You are my God'. My future is in your hands" (Psalm 31:14-15a). For now, God has lead me to take another trip to Haiti the first week of July. I am humbled and overwhelmed with joy at this opportunity. Faith E-Free has decided to partner with The Global Orphan Project to help build and develop an orphan village in a southwest area of Haiti called Port Salut. As a church we are excited to see what God is going to do as he draws us closer to his heart for the helpless and takes us on an unknown journey of caring for his precious children. It's amazing to think that this is just the beginning. What an awesome God we serve!

So going forward from this place, all I want to do is be faithful in this frustration. That God would bring me closer to him and form me more like his Son--no matter what it takes.

How it all began

I had a teacher in High School who always used to ask me to give him The Reader's Digest version. I love to tell stories and I tend to be long winded, so this was his way of telling me to only give him the juicy details. So following that advice, I want to give you the highlights of how God has shaped my heart for the helpless over the years.

Since childhood I have had an intense interest in the needs of others. Over the years I can remember many moments where God showed me pain, injustice, brokenness, heartache and sadness and in those moments he taught me about empathy. He gave me a glimpse of his heart for his people. The first mission trip I went on was to an impoverished town in central Mexico. I was twelve. My whole family went with a group from our church. It was the first time I had seen poverty and hunger. I was never the same. Even at that young age I knew that my life is not about me. That trip set into motion my heart for the nations, for the poor and for the helpless.

Several years later, God used a trip to the Philippines to completely wreck my heart for the orphan child. I spent the summer after my freshman year of college in a children's home in Manilia where I got another heavy dose of reality. For the first time in my life I met an orphan; a child who is defenseless, alone, vulnerable. I held these kids and played with them and fell in love with them. This small island country in Asia is home to thousands of orphans; I finally recognized the need. It felt so big, I felt so small. But I knew in that moment that even though I am only one person, that I was going to do my part. I wasn't going to be able to sit back while these things were happening across the world. New Faith Family Children's Home was started because a 13 year old girl name Janelle couldn't sit back anymore either, she had to do something about it. Along with her parents she founded the children's home which has now been serving Philippine orphans for over five years. She didn't ignore the call to care for the orphans. Janelle was and still is an inspiration to me. She didn't ask the "what if's" she didn't feel too small to do something, she chased after God's heart and she got it! It stirred in me a passion that I am still trying to live out today. As I look deep into my heart I feel a clear call to do something about the poverty, injustice and suffering I see. I wont single-handedly change the world, but I can do my part, pursue God's heart and answer his call to care.